I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
- Pablo Neruda
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sometimes.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know
right away that they were meant to be there, to serve
some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help
you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be - a friend, a lover,
a roommate, a neighbour, a professor, or even a
complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them,
you know at that very moment they will affect your
life in some profound way.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness,
and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of
your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they
may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight
flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and
comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the
success and downfalls you experience, help to create
who you are and who you become. Even the bad
experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are
sometimes the most important ones.
If someone loves you, love them back in
whatever way you can, not only because they love you,
but because in a way, they are teaching you to love
and how to open your heart and eyes to newer things.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your
heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn
about trust and the importance of being cautious to
whom you open your heart.
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.
And if you love someone tell them, for you never know
what tomorrow may have in store.
right away that they were meant to be there, to serve
some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help
you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be - a friend, a lover,
a roommate, a neighbour, a professor, or even a
complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them,
you know at that very moment they will affect your
life in some profound way.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness,
and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of
your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they
may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight
flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and
comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the
success and downfalls you experience, help to create
who you are and who you become. Even the bad
experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are
sometimes the most important ones.
If someone loves you, love them back in
whatever way you can, not only because they love you,
but because in a way, they are teaching you to love
and how to open your heart and eyes to newer things.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your
heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn
about trust and the importance of being cautious to
whom you open your heart.
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.
And if you love someone tell them, for you never know
what tomorrow may have in store.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Life 101
i actually got this one off my old high school teacher who decided to share the lessons he learnt throughout his life with us. after all those years, he's still taking me to school. so without further ado, here it is: a 15 step guide to Life.
1. When you are doing a lousy job and people tell you about it, it’s because they care about you.
2. It’s never a question of whether you can or cannot. It’s only a question of whether you want to or not.
3. You can lose anything in this world but never your Integrity.
4. When you make a mistake, (i) 'fess up to it, (ii) say ‘I am Sorry’, (iii) learn from it.
5. Follow your interests, not your friends.
6. The Meaning of your Life must be more than just dollars and cents.
7. Choose your words carefully. Your words can build someone up or cut someone down.
8. You can achieve anything when you put your heart, mind and soul into it.
9. You find the greatest happiness when you give from your heart.
10. Never assume your family would be around with you forever. Never ever take them for granted.
11. If the only prayer that you say is ‘Thank You’, it’s more than enough.
12. Those who have so little are able to give so much.
13. Live your Dreams. Pursue your Passion. Follow your Heart
14. Live your Best. Leave No Regrets.
15. Love Freely, Unselfishly and Without Discrimination.
1. When you are doing a lousy job and people tell you about it, it’s because they care about you.
2. It’s never a question of whether you can or cannot. It’s only a question of whether you want to or not.
3. You can lose anything in this world but never your Integrity.
4. When you make a mistake, (i) 'fess up to it, (ii) say ‘I am Sorry’, (iii) learn from it.
5. Follow your interests, not your friends.
6. The Meaning of your Life must be more than just dollars and cents.
7. Choose your words carefully. Your words can build someone up or cut someone down.
8. You can achieve anything when you put your heart, mind and soul into it.
9. You find the greatest happiness when you give from your heart.
10. Never assume your family would be around with you forever. Never ever take them for granted.
11. If the only prayer that you say is ‘Thank You’, it’s more than enough.
12. Those who have so little are able to give so much.
13. Live your Dreams. Pursue your Passion. Follow your Heart
14. Live your Best. Leave No Regrets.
15. Love Freely, Unselfishly and Without Discrimination.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Racelessness.
as of late, the subdued existentialism i've been going through has led me to many derived ideas and suggestions for the benefit of humankind. one of these erratic ideas is the concept of 'racelessness'.
the notion of 'racelessness' is simple: an anti-label designed to curb society of their one comfort zone of 'fitting in' with society. in short, to be 'raceless' is to be bereft of a brand handed to you at birth and to identify with the rest of the world as co-existors.
since young, i've had a general uneasiness with the idea of identifying myself with culture, race and ethnicity. i grew up watching people place their race and ethnic background as a priority and pride themselves upon it. they would seek others like them in a bid to broaden their social standing. you could see the comfort in their eyes when the other party looked like them, talked like them and thought like them. now i'm not saying all these people are racist. it's human nature after all to seek and perceive similarity in everything around us.
but the idea of priding yourself upon something which was not even yours to choose is logically absurd. in almost all of these race-proud people, the intangible poison of superiority sometimes slips through the cracks and shows these people for what they truly are: race-chauvinists.
that's right. the age old taunt of 'i'm better than you'. a taunt which has divided humanity for centuries. till now, i cannot find an excuse or reason for needing to identify a person by his race. unless of course, you're a Nazi scientist.
to be truly 'raceless', one would have to renounce his cultural identity and fashion himself to a new identity. a person of the human race. let's face it. that's the one race worth being proud of and we should give us all reason to be proud of it. nothing is ever sacred.
the radical notion of safeguarding and protecting one's race and heritage is a mere dream. the world is changing. species, languages, cultures; all lost in time. let it go. ask yourself how many people have been killed in the name of difference alone because if you still think racial identity is worth saving, ask the 6 million Jews in Nazi Germany, ask the many Chinese and Malays who died on the 13th May, ask the Pakistanis and the Indians in the 1940s, ask the Chinese who were massacred by the Japanese, ask the Bosnians in Srebrenica, ask the Indians in South Africa and ask the Palestinians and the Israelis.
to me, labels are the friends of prejudice. and prejudice is the enemy of acceptance. the world, this world should push for a more open and inclusive society, without cultural and ethnic lines, inculcating its people to the bridge of harmony, where no one is left behind due to their creed, colour and culture. 'foreign' should be foreign.
"... I hope someday you'll join us / And the world will be as one." - John Lennon
the notion of 'racelessness' is simple: an anti-label designed to curb society of their one comfort zone of 'fitting in' with society. in short, to be 'raceless' is to be bereft of a brand handed to you at birth and to identify with the rest of the world as co-existors.
since young, i've had a general uneasiness with the idea of identifying myself with culture, race and ethnicity. i grew up watching people place their race and ethnic background as a priority and pride themselves upon it. they would seek others like them in a bid to broaden their social standing. you could see the comfort in their eyes when the other party looked like them, talked like them and thought like them. now i'm not saying all these people are racist. it's human nature after all to seek and perceive similarity in everything around us.
but the idea of priding yourself upon something which was not even yours to choose is logically absurd. in almost all of these race-proud people, the intangible poison of superiority sometimes slips through the cracks and shows these people for what they truly are: race-chauvinists.
that's right. the age old taunt of 'i'm better than you'. a taunt which has divided humanity for centuries. till now, i cannot find an excuse or reason for needing to identify a person by his race. unless of course, you're a Nazi scientist.
to be truly 'raceless', one would have to renounce his cultural identity and fashion himself to a new identity. a person of the human race. let's face it. that's the one race worth being proud of and we should give us all reason to be proud of it. nothing is ever sacred.
the radical notion of safeguarding and protecting one's race and heritage is a mere dream. the world is changing. species, languages, cultures; all lost in time. let it go. ask yourself how many people have been killed in the name of difference alone because if you still think racial identity is worth saving, ask the 6 million Jews in Nazi Germany, ask the many Chinese and Malays who died on the 13th May, ask the Pakistanis and the Indians in the 1940s, ask the Chinese who were massacred by the Japanese, ask the Bosnians in Srebrenica, ask the Indians in South Africa and ask the Palestinians and the Israelis.
to me, labels are the friends of prejudice. and prejudice is the enemy of acceptance. the world, this world should push for a more open and inclusive society, without cultural and ethnic lines, inculcating its people to the bridge of harmony, where no one is left behind due to their creed, colour and culture. 'foreign' should be foreign.
"... I hope someday you'll join us / And the world will be as one." - John Lennon
Thursday, March 10, 2011
A Promise
On this hill top
You buried me
As a younger man
You gathered 'round
My empty husk
And spoke of how I was so loved
And as the sun died
You promised that you'd seek me out
Well now the years have weathered you
And soon I'll claim you for my arms again
And if our hearts all disappear
And if our bones, they crumble to the soil
Well all our love will rise again
And we'll float to the sea.
You buried me
As a younger man
You gathered 'round
My empty husk
And spoke of how I was so loved
And as the sun died
You promised that you'd seek me out
Well now the years have weathered you
And soon I'll claim you for my arms again
And if our hearts all disappear
And if our bones, they crumble to the soil
Well all our love will rise again
And we'll float to the sea.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Detachment.
sometimes I find myself wondering why my posts of late betray my emotional fortress that I have worked so painstakingly to build. maybe it's the Universe's way of telling me that emotions can't be contained, that feelings are meant to be spilled to be felt. or maybe I'm just a wuss.
either way, I've been trying to keep my mind on the straight and narrow and im just getting started untangling it. but I find revelation in it's entanglement. you sort of grow as a person when you connect with yourself I think. and that's the most important person. yourself.
when it comes to despair, worry for the future or an impossible love you know you'll never have, the first person you should talk to is yourself. which brings me to my detachment.
detachment can manifest itself in many ways. I find myself looking at the events in my life, current and past, from a distance, a voyeuristic perspective, if you will and I'm surprised to find it actually helps me deal with it better. and it hasn't been easy at all. as none of you know, I'm not your average guy. some will say im a few sandwiches short of a picnic, others may say I'm damaged goods, call me whatever you want really.
I've taken it a step further: detachment from the world. *collective gasp* yes although my future profession would frown on this view, I find that having a detached point of view of the world helps me get through. war, famine, poverty, destruction, prejudice. you can't just stomach all these and not be affected by it. after all, it's our duty as a fellow Earthling to help our fallen right? but detachment saves me from certain depression at the hand that fate has dealt these people. this world. I can work to change the world without becoming too personally involved.
i prefer not to wallow in the misery of life's cruelty. nor do i want to keep dwelling in the past. whatever life hands out, I take it on the chin. there's really no point in looking back. this isn't some Zen theology I'm harping on, merely a human way of coping with the god forsaken obstacles in life and all of its insanity.
either way, I've been trying to keep my mind on the straight and narrow and im just getting started untangling it. but I find revelation in it's entanglement. you sort of grow as a person when you connect with yourself I think. and that's the most important person. yourself.
when it comes to despair, worry for the future or an impossible love you know you'll never have, the first person you should talk to is yourself. which brings me to my detachment.
detachment can manifest itself in many ways. I find myself looking at the events in my life, current and past, from a distance, a voyeuristic perspective, if you will and I'm surprised to find it actually helps me deal with it better. and it hasn't been easy at all. as none of you know, I'm not your average guy. some will say im a few sandwiches short of a picnic, others may say I'm damaged goods, call me whatever you want really.
I've taken it a step further: detachment from the world. *collective gasp* yes although my future profession would frown on this view, I find that having a detached point of view of the world helps me get through. war, famine, poverty, destruction, prejudice. you can't just stomach all these and not be affected by it. after all, it's our duty as a fellow Earthling to help our fallen right? but detachment saves me from certain depression at the hand that fate has dealt these people. this world. I can work to change the world without becoming too personally involved.
i prefer not to wallow in the misery of life's cruelty. nor do i want to keep dwelling in the past. whatever life hands out, I take it on the chin. there's really no point in looking back. this isn't some Zen theology I'm harping on, merely a human way of coping with the god forsaken obstacles in life and all of its insanity.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Solitude
what to say when all the words have run out?
emotion betrays my stone face
and I find myself drawn ever more to you.
will you judge me if I tell you how I feel?
I know i can't keep this from you
but I promised I would
because you can never know
what secrets lie locked in my mind
what has imploded beneath us?
this chasm of hate, this valley of doubt
in this solitude, I voyage to these places
to affirm my bond to you.
dead is the air without you knowing
around my careless and dancing hair
needlessly forestalling my confession
hoping you hear as I whisper it in my pillow.
emotion betrays my stone face
and I find myself drawn ever more to you.
will you judge me if I tell you how I feel?
I know i can't keep this from you
but I promised I would
because you can never know
what secrets lie locked in my mind
what has imploded beneath us?
this chasm of hate, this valley of doubt
in this solitude, I voyage to these places
to affirm my bond to you.
dead is the air without you knowing
around my careless and dancing hair
needlessly forestalling my confession
hoping you hear as I whisper it in my pillow.
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Game of Life.
someone once told me i'm as forward as the rear end of a truck. i still don't know what that means. but allow me to be as simple and direct with this one as possible.
i used to think of life as a mosntrous obstacle. one that needs careful planning, time and money, loads of money to be made the most out of and overcome. then, somewhere along the road, i lost it all. and losing it all made me come to realise that life itself wasn't the obstacle. i was.
put it simply, my friends, life has become a game for me. it's a game we all play. not something you take seriously and try your utmost best to comprehend and try to keep on winning in.
i see life as i see fluid. a brilliant legato, if you will, that you ride on. a journey in which you ever-learn. in this game, there are no winners or losers. only better players. this game teaches you appreciation; for faith, for hope, for people, for love.
but don't base life on the amount of money you make, or the number of cars you have or the number of people you've slept with. it's no competition. out-doing your neighbour (no pun unintended) will not get you anywhere.
i've learnt to take things as they come. i don't need material wealth to keep me happy. just love and peace. the problems in life can do nothing to get me down. just as sure as the tides, solutions readily present themselves to every problem in life. it's all a matter of keeping the faith and finding it.
for me, every day a new chapter. every day an experience. the places i go and the people i've met enrich me constantly. and i'm thankful.
i used to think of life as a mosntrous obstacle. one that needs careful planning, time and money, loads of money to be made the most out of and overcome. then, somewhere along the road, i lost it all. and losing it all made me come to realise that life itself wasn't the obstacle. i was.
put it simply, my friends, life has become a game for me. it's a game we all play. not something you take seriously and try your utmost best to comprehend and try to keep on winning in.
i see life as i see fluid. a brilliant legato, if you will, that you ride on. a journey in which you ever-learn. in this game, there are no winners or losers. only better players. this game teaches you appreciation; for faith, for hope, for people, for love.
but don't base life on the amount of money you make, or the number of cars you have or the number of people you've slept with. it's no competition. out-doing your neighbour (no pun unintended) will not get you anywhere.
i've learnt to take things as they come. i don't need material wealth to keep me happy. just love and peace. the problems in life can do nothing to get me down. just as sure as the tides, solutions readily present themselves to every problem in life. it's all a matter of keeping the faith and finding it.
for me, every day a new chapter. every day an experience. the places i go and the people i've met enrich me constantly. and i'm thankful.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Spirituality or Religion?
im not religious. period. i've lost the plot of religion. my parents telling me to go to church on sundays used to hold little meaning for me. now it holds none. nowadays i say church is a place where people go to compare clothing on sunday. how many of the faithful flock to service just for the sole purpose to pray and seek faith? little if not very few. don't get me wrong. maybe there are a few of you who find solace in the temple of god. but i find it very redundant that we seek comfort in four walls built by man and in views expoused by man. do we really know if this is the 'right' kind of worship? we do not. i speak for christianity because i am qualified to. but it certainly holds weight in the other religions as well. this is not a 'my religion is better than yours' viewpoint. it is simply to highlight how convoluted religion has become.
the bible tells me to condemn people who are different; the non-believers, the adulterers, the homosexuals. but on the other hand, it tells me to love my neighbour as how god has loved me. now truly this is not the message of god. it sounds more like the views of men who wanted the ideal society where these subhumans are purged from society. editing the bible would have a seemingly good effect on future generations who would then shun these people in the name of god. but what are we teaching here? to preach selective hate? that is not what faith, hope and love is about. that is not what god is about.
i am convinced to turn away from organized religion and to focus on spirituality. i do believe in god. i believe there is a higher power and i am destined to live my life according to his ways; to love and care for my fellow man in this lifetime so that i will meet my maker to tell him i have lived my life to the fullest. but i will not follow in the path of self-righteous men who have diluted religion for their own agendas. who have altered the teachings of god for their own personal gain. my god speaks to me and i will listen. i will have my own conversation with Him and let his spirit guide me. but i will not pray to an effigy or an idol, in a place of worship, singing along to delicate tunes and standing, sitting and kneeling every now and then.
let spirituality guide you. the sole belief in god, and not what man says about god.
the bible tells me to condemn people who are different; the non-believers, the adulterers, the homosexuals. but on the other hand, it tells me to love my neighbour as how god has loved me. now truly this is not the message of god. it sounds more like the views of men who wanted the ideal society where these subhumans are purged from society. editing the bible would have a seemingly good effect on future generations who would then shun these people in the name of god. but what are we teaching here? to preach selective hate? that is not what faith, hope and love is about. that is not what god is about.
i am convinced to turn away from organized religion and to focus on spirituality. i do believe in god. i believe there is a higher power and i am destined to live my life according to his ways; to love and care for my fellow man in this lifetime so that i will meet my maker to tell him i have lived my life to the fullest. but i will not follow in the path of self-righteous men who have diluted religion for their own agendas. who have altered the teachings of god for their own personal gain. my god speaks to me and i will listen. i will have my own conversation with Him and let his spirit guide me. but i will not pray to an effigy or an idol, in a place of worship, singing along to delicate tunes and standing, sitting and kneeling every now and then.
let spirituality guide you. the sole belief in god, and not what man says about god.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Eloquence of Noise
just three frequencies. in triad. set in harmony. you get a chord. the happy, joyous ring of the major. set the middle note back a semi-tone, and you get the haunting, mourning cry of the minor.
yeah, it's these simple things in life that amazes me.
and though i don't know it, it's these simple things that matter the most.
and who would have known that something this simple can convey so much emotion when set in an absolute blend?
a rushing dose of ecstacy to your brain, to your very centre.
you find yourself just closing your eyes to the pain, love, hurt, joy.
the pleasure of pure, unadulterated sound just washing over you.
i don't mean that synthesized, digitized rasping that some choose to name genres after.
but the raw, unedited purr of a violin, or the snap of a guitar string or the voice of a piano.
thank god for music.
yeah, it's these simple things in life that amazes me.
and though i don't know it, it's these simple things that matter the most.
and who would have known that something this simple can convey so much emotion when set in an absolute blend?
a rushing dose of ecstacy to your brain, to your very centre.
you find yourself just closing your eyes to the pain, love, hurt, joy.
the pleasure of pure, unadulterated sound just washing over you.
i don't mean that synthesized, digitized rasping that some choose to name genres after.
but the raw, unedited purr of a violin, or the snap of a guitar string or the voice of a piano.
thank god for music.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Life and Debt.
ah conspiracies. ever the fascinating subject to talk about. i love how just a mere rumour of a scenario sets people's minds churning. but hell, you name it. JFK, Elvis, CIA, the Moon, the Twin Towers, Michael Jackson, Aliens, that old lady who lives down your street...there's bound to be some truth in most of these conspiracies. often enough, it just boils down to odd coincidence.
but how far does coincidence stretch? for you who follows the news and current events would know by now that China plans to toss a drowning Greece, a lifejacket. and toss Spain an alarm clock for their siesta. and why not? China is rich. they have vast resource. they can practically do whatever the hell they want. hell, they can influence economies, trade markets and stocks. they are so powerful, they can choose to liberate any debt-stricken nation just like that.
hey hang on. all this sounds very familiar. wasn't the US doing this oh about 30 years ago? yeah that's right. back then when they were a superpower? that means that..but this is..but i thought..wait..are you thinking what i'm thinking B1? i think i am B2, it global domination time! get your chopsticks out and censor those google pages, ladies and gentlemen, we're in for a bumpy ride.
but it's anyone's guess really. 50/50. but here's where the conspiracy lies.
put yourself in Uncle Sam's shoes. if you were in a trillion smackeroos neck deep in crap, and your global influence is fading, with your country's economy taking shit every day because of the Arabs, and on top of that, your biggest nemesis has started plans to snatch the throne from you, what would you do?
nothing? you must be a redneck.
me? simple. run a bunch of cockamamie pro-America propaganda over the media and indirectly warn people that if you order Chinese take-out, you're gonna end up with diarrhoea in the morning. then i sit back and relax with a copy of Forbes' Top 10 Richest People in America. (Theory #1: US's top 4 richest people can amass almost US$2 trillion with only 40% of their wealth.)
gasp. heeeyy! that's enough to bail me out. with change to spare! better start being nice to these kinda people. and you, Leroy, Kumar and Gonzales, you shut up and keep on working. i'm not paying you to slack off. in fact, i'm not paying you at all. you better get used to it.
man, i wish we had the Soviet Union or the Socialists to heckle. made us feel goddamn big.
but how far does coincidence stretch? for you who follows the news and current events would know by now that China plans to toss a drowning Greece, a lifejacket. and toss Spain an alarm clock for their siesta. and why not? China is rich. they have vast resource. they can practically do whatever the hell they want. hell, they can influence economies, trade markets and stocks. they are so powerful, they can choose to liberate any debt-stricken nation just like that.
hey hang on. all this sounds very familiar. wasn't the US doing this oh about 30 years ago? yeah that's right. back then when they were a superpower? that means that..but this is..but i thought..wait..are you thinking what i'm thinking B1? i think i am B2, it global domination time! get your chopsticks out and censor those google pages, ladies and gentlemen, we're in for a bumpy ride.
but it's anyone's guess really. 50/50. but here's where the conspiracy lies.
put yourself in Uncle Sam's shoes. if you were in a trillion smackeroos neck deep in crap, and your global influence is fading, with your country's economy taking shit every day because of the Arabs, and on top of that, your biggest nemesis has started plans to snatch the throne from you, what would you do?
nothing? you must be a redneck.
me? simple. run a bunch of cockamamie pro-America propaganda over the media and indirectly warn people that if you order Chinese take-out, you're gonna end up with diarrhoea in the morning. then i sit back and relax with a copy of Forbes' Top 10 Richest People in America. (Theory #1: US's top 4 richest people can amass almost US$2 trillion with only 40% of their wealth.)
gasp. heeeyy! that's enough to bail me out. with change to spare! better start being nice to these kinda people. and you, Leroy, Kumar and Gonzales, you shut up and keep on working. i'm not paying you to slack off. in fact, i'm not paying you at all. you better get used to it.
man, i wish we had the Soviet Union or the Socialists to heckle. made us feel goddamn big.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Hello.
Здравствуйте!! hello to you especially to reading this. that is right. YOU. i back. i take many time off this internet to concantrate on study. i miss time i can write like this, well, is not so much write but more like typing da? hahaha. do you get it? is funny.. anyways is just me and thought flow out of head like raging chechnyan killing bosnian. i is happy to be back. many things is change. i am learning many new culture and way of life. i think i becomes much different person. i always like to learn new thing and peoples, since i am little boy. is good to learn about expariences. it make you better human. not many thing can be learn from the schools. some thing you have to learn is from life itself.
but da, i am typing (or writting? haha) this because exam is coming for me like how Stalin come for serfs. i no worry. i ready. i feel ready. i happy to be ready for exam. that is why i have plenty much many time to talk here. please to stay tune for more update. i will post artikal (???) if there is things are worth to be writting about. (or typing (?) hahahah. i is funny person.) okay i say enough here for now. let me go back to book. i see you soon da? spasiba.
S.P. please to excuse my english. it take a while for to learn languange. da vostok.
but da, i am typing (or writting? haha) this because exam is coming for me like how Stalin come for serfs. i no worry. i ready. i feel ready. i happy to be ready for exam. that is why i have plenty much many time to talk here. please to stay tune for more update. i will post artikal (???) if there is things are worth to be writting about. (or typing (?) hahahah. i is funny person.) okay i say enough here for now. let me go back to book. i see you soon da? spasiba.
S.P. please to excuse my english. it take a while for to learn languange. da vostok.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Oh No! The World is Ending! (with a little bit of luck.)
naw just kidding. the world's not ending. someone's job may be ending, but definitely not the world. sorry mayans.
a landmark, uhh, watermark, in Singapore's ubersuperduper efficient road system has gotten tongues wagging. (and possibly some heads rolling). for those blissfully ignorant, the 16th of June started out like any other wet, besotted, bedraggled, soggy, damp, moist, soaked, sloshed, drippy morning. heavy rains all abound. needless to say i had the best of mornings, waking in the afternoon to dark and gloomy storm clouds. (my favourite.)
there i was supposed to meet a friend at a starbucks in Orchard. so i decided to head out at around 3. the rain showed signs of slowing about an hour before that, so i thought i'd just run out of the house and enjoy the rest of the day rain-free in my car. but as fate would have it, my friend calls and cancels the meet for some errands. the rain again pounding heavier than ever, i shrug it off and grin to myself as that meant getting to spend the rest of the day at home and away from the hazard that is society.
mother of pearl, what greeted my eyes that night on the news.
Mother Nature 1
Singapore 0
i wonder how many people must have thought Singapore was sinking.
a landmark, uhh, watermark, in Singapore's ubersuperduper efficient road system has gotten tongues wagging. (and possibly some heads rolling). for those blissfully ignorant, the 16th of June started out like any other wet, besotted, bedraggled, soggy, damp, moist, soaked, sloshed, drippy morning. heavy rains all abound. needless to say i had the best of mornings, waking in the afternoon to dark and gloomy storm clouds. (my favourite.)
there i was supposed to meet a friend at a starbucks in Orchard. so i decided to head out at around 3. the rain showed signs of slowing about an hour before that, so i thought i'd just run out of the house and enjoy the rest of the day rain-free in my car. but as fate would have it, my friend calls and cancels the meet for some errands. the rain again pounding heavier than ever, i shrug it off and grin to myself as that meant getting to spend the rest of the day at home and away from the hazard that is society.
mother of pearl, what greeted my eyes that night on the news.
Mother Nature 1
Singapore 0
i wonder how many people must have thought Singapore was sinking.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Uhh no, really?
Obese have poorer sex life: study
PARIS (AFP) - – Obese women are likelier to neglect contraception, obese men are more prone to impotence and both are far less sexually active than counterparts of normal weight, a study said on Wednesday.
The findings highlight "a major reproductive health challenge," requiring doctors to pierce the twin taboos of obesity and sex, it said.
The research covered 10,170 men and women aged 18-69 whose data was randomly chosen from a French survey of sexual behaviour carried out in 2006.
Around two-thirds were of normal weight, a quarter were overweight and the remainder (411 women and 350 men) were obese.
Overweight was defined by having a body mass index (BMI) of between 25 and 30, and obesity as a BMI of at least 30.
Obese women were 29 percent less likely to have had a sex partner in the previous 12 months, compared with women of normal weight.
Obese men were 69 percent less likely to report having more than one sexual partner in the same period and two and a half times likelier to report erection problems than non-obese counterparts. Obese men under 30 were also far likelier to have a sexually-transmitted disease.
Sexual dysfunction -- lack of desire or arousal or pain in intercourse -- was not a problem for obese women.
However, those under 30 were far likelier not to use contraception or to seek contraceptive advice. Unintended pregnancies among obese women were more than four times higher than among women of normal weight.
That discovery is especially worrying, as obesity is a major factor in mother and infant death and sickness.
The study, published online by the British Medical Journal (BMJ), was headed by Nathalie Bajos of the National Institute of Health and Medical Research (Inserm) in Paris.
In a commentary published by the BMJ, Sandy Goldbeck-Wood, a British gynaecologist specialising in psychosexual medicine, said the findings should ring alarm bells, given the unfurling global epidemic of obesity.
"In public health terms, the study lends a new slant to a familiar message: that obesity can harm not only health and longevity, but your sex life. And culturally, it reminds us clinicians and researchers to look at the subjects we find difficult."
PARIS (AFP) - – Obese women are likelier to neglect contraception, obese men are more prone to impotence and both are far less sexually active than counterparts of normal weight, a study said on Wednesday.
The findings highlight "a major reproductive health challenge," requiring doctors to pierce the twin taboos of obesity and sex, it said.
The research covered 10,170 men and women aged 18-69 whose data was randomly chosen from a French survey of sexual behaviour carried out in 2006.
Around two-thirds were of normal weight, a quarter were overweight and the remainder (411 women and 350 men) were obese.
Overweight was defined by having a body mass index (BMI) of between 25 and 30, and obesity as a BMI of at least 30.
Obese women were 29 percent less likely to have had a sex partner in the previous 12 months, compared with women of normal weight.
Obese men were 69 percent less likely to report having more than one sexual partner in the same period and two and a half times likelier to report erection problems than non-obese counterparts. Obese men under 30 were also far likelier to have a sexually-transmitted disease.
Sexual dysfunction -- lack of desire or arousal or pain in intercourse -- was not a problem for obese women.
However, those under 30 were far likelier not to use contraception or to seek contraceptive advice. Unintended pregnancies among obese women were more than four times higher than among women of normal weight.
That discovery is especially worrying, as obesity is a major factor in mother and infant death and sickness.
The study, published online by the British Medical Journal (BMJ), was headed by Nathalie Bajos of the National Institute of Health and Medical Research (Inserm) in Paris.
In a commentary published by the BMJ, Sandy Goldbeck-Wood, a British gynaecologist specialising in psychosexual medicine, said the findings should ring alarm bells, given the unfurling global epidemic of obesity.
"In public health terms, the study lends a new slant to a familiar message: that obesity can harm not only health and longevity, but your sex life. And culturally, it reminds us clinicians and researchers to look at the subjects we find difficult."
Uhh no, really?
Obese have poorer sex life: study
PARIS (AFP) - – Obese women are likelier to neglect contraception, obese men are more prone to impotence and both are far less sexually active than counterparts of normal weight, a study said on Wednesday.
The findings highlight "a major reproductive health challenge," requiring doctors to pierce the twin taboos of obesity and sex, it said.
The research covered 10,170 men and women aged 18-69 whose data was randomly chosen from a French survey of sexual behaviour carried out in 2006.
Around two-thirds were of normal weight, a quarter were overweight and the remainder (411 women and 350 men) were obese.
Overweight was defined by having a body mass index (BMI) of between 25 and 30, and obesity as a BMI of at least 30.
Obese women were 29 percent less likely to have had a sex partner in the previous 12 months, compared with women of normal weight.
Obese men were 69 percent less likely to report having more than one sexual partner in the same period and two and a half times likelier to report erection problems than non-obese counterparts. Obese men under 30 were also far likelier to have a sexually-transmitted disease.
Sexual dysfunction -- lack of desire or arousal or pain in intercourse -- was not a problem for obese women.
However, those under 30 were far likelier not to use contraception or to seek contraceptive advice. Unintended pregnancies among obese women were more than four times higher than among women of normal weight.
That discovery is especially worrying, as obesity is a major factor in mother and infant death and sickness.
The study, published online by the British Medical Journal (BMJ), was headed by Nathalie Bajos of the National Institute of Health and Medical Research (Inserm) in Paris.
In a commentary published by the BMJ, Sandy Goldbeck-Wood, a British gynaecologist specialising in psychosexual medicine, said the findings should ring alarm bells, given the unfurling global epidemic of obesity.
"In public health terms, the study lends a new slant to a familiar message: that obesity can harm not only health and longevity, but your sex life. And culturally, it reminds us clinicians and researchers to look at the subjects we find difficult."
PARIS (AFP) - – Obese women are likelier to neglect contraception, obese men are more prone to impotence and both are far less sexually active than counterparts of normal weight, a study said on Wednesday.
The findings highlight "a major reproductive health challenge," requiring doctors to pierce the twin taboos of obesity and sex, it said.
The research covered 10,170 men and women aged 18-69 whose data was randomly chosen from a French survey of sexual behaviour carried out in 2006.
Around two-thirds were of normal weight, a quarter were overweight and the remainder (411 women and 350 men) were obese.
Overweight was defined by having a body mass index (BMI) of between 25 and 30, and obesity as a BMI of at least 30.
Obese women were 29 percent less likely to have had a sex partner in the previous 12 months, compared with women of normal weight.
Obese men were 69 percent less likely to report having more than one sexual partner in the same period and two and a half times likelier to report erection problems than non-obese counterparts. Obese men under 30 were also far likelier to have a sexually-transmitted disease.
Sexual dysfunction -- lack of desire or arousal or pain in intercourse -- was not a problem for obese women.
However, those under 30 were far likelier not to use contraception or to seek contraceptive advice. Unintended pregnancies among obese women were more than four times higher than among women of normal weight.
That discovery is especially worrying, as obesity is a major factor in mother and infant death and sickness.
The study, published online by the British Medical Journal (BMJ), was headed by Nathalie Bajos of the National Institute of Health and Medical Research (Inserm) in Paris.
In a commentary published by the BMJ, Sandy Goldbeck-Wood, a British gynaecologist specialising in psychosexual medicine, said the findings should ring alarm bells, given the unfurling global epidemic of obesity.
"In public health terms, the study lends a new slant to a familiar message: that obesity can harm not only health and longevity, but your sex life. And culturally, it reminds us clinicians and researchers to look at the subjects we find difficult."
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Serendipity and then some.
a getaway to forget your cares. thats exactly what langkawi was. well to my best anyway. boy did i forget much when i was there. thank you cheap booze for making me feel like a $2 tramp. god knows what happened on that beach that night. though, the stars and the crashing waves did wonders to calm the hell outta me.
and that's when i found myself. that night, under those stars and on that beach. with a certain friend telling me how awesome this night was. i didnt pay attention to him at the least, sorry. all i know is i was hit so hard by existentialism that i could not even absorb the sheer reality of the present situation. now im not one of those guys who just appreciate beauty for beauty's sake but it's just one of those times that you really become grateful for being alive. and you want to make something out of this life. because it only comes around once. although, thinking back, from the ghastly amount of money spent, i don't really feel the need to go on living anyway.
heh heh. just a little joke. got a couple bucks on ya? heh heh. another joke. heh. no seriously?
and that's when i found myself. that night, under those stars and on that beach. with a certain friend telling me how awesome this night was. i didnt pay attention to him at the least, sorry. all i know is i was hit so hard by existentialism that i could not even absorb the sheer reality of the present situation. now im not one of those guys who just appreciate beauty for beauty's sake but it's just one of those times that you really become grateful for being alive. and you want to make something out of this life. because it only comes around once. although, thinking back, from the ghastly amount of money spent, i don't really feel the need to go on living anyway.
heh heh. just a little joke. got a couple bucks on ya? heh heh. another joke. heh. no seriously?
Thursday, June 3, 2010
24ngkawi
PROLOGUE
so i'm basically oh-em-gee-ing right now since another outing starts in exactly 24 hours. its been ages since the last outing with the embers of E3. so much for an outing it was. hey, don't get me wrong. it was a blast hanging out with the guys, but me on the other hand, was sick as eggs. so thanks to some panadol supplied by a streetsmart friend, it was bearable.
so we head off tomorrow on a bus, then a ferry. to this island where people are tested on, checking limits of mental capacity and then the...oh, getting a bit sidetracked there.
anw, i shall be departing perak in the morning tomorrow, where i will reach KL and pack a little, play some pranks on the guards in my apartment, (you know, like stand INSIDE the hostel boundaries and plead with the guard to let you OUT.), cuss at those disrespectful ingrates who fill the swimming pool, which faces my window, and subjects me to the view of their bodies, which is to die from. (that's right, from, not for.)
but nonetheless, i shall try to make the most out of tomorrow, before i leave for great unknowns. kuala perlis sounds quite daunting. then again, anything with 'perlis' in it is always daunting. so, for now, stay tuned and you may hear more stories about this strange island and the 5 brave men who tried to conquer it but ended up getting drunk instead.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Errata.
They laid me down in a grave
As if it would be my final resting place,
Filling it with the Earth’s rotting soil.
They tried to destroy me,
Wishing I would just go away,
But what is it?
What have they really done?
The simple minds of mortal men,
They have sent me back
To the place that is my origin.
Destroy me,
The more they try
The more powerful I’ve become.
And now I have risen
From my earthly grave
And now I will slay the ones
I once saved.
The reckoning is upon us.
The day the Ministry of Darkness seizes the land,
Destroys all that you hold dear,
Make play things of your heroes
And devour your innocence.
The plague of darkness is coming,
And the all encompassing evil
For which there is no escape.
No mercy,
No hope,
It's called the future,
And in the future
I will look down upon thee
And I will decide
Whether you are an agent of darkness,
Or are you just mere kindling for my fires?
The power of darkness shall be offered only to a chosen few,
And those that resist the temptations of my Ministry,
Pain becomes synonymous with punishment.
Embrace the Darkness and relish in the earthly delights
That pain has to offer,
Resist,
and there are no limits to the torment you subject yourself to.
Don’t fight it,
It will tear your soul apart.
So let my servants be few and secret.
They shall rule the many and the known,
I am the reaper of men,
The chaser of souls,
The weaver of nightmares;
I am the heart of Darkness. I am now and ever will be
The purity of evil.
The hell you were threatened with as a child
Is no longer an option,
It is a reality,
A living breathing reality,
And you all are right in the middle of it.
Yes, Hell has relocated to Earth.
Now you will know why you are afraid of the dark,
And you will learn why…
As if it would be my final resting place,
Filling it with the Earth’s rotting soil.
They tried to destroy me,
Wishing I would just go away,
But what is it?
What have they really done?
The simple minds of mortal men,
They have sent me back
To the place that is my origin.
Destroy me,
The more they try
The more powerful I’ve become.
And now I have risen
From my earthly grave
And now I will slay the ones
I once saved.
The reckoning is upon us.
The day the Ministry of Darkness seizes the land,
Destroys all that you hold dear,
Make play things of your heroes
And devour your innocence.
The plague of darkness is coming,
And the all encompassing evil
For which there is no escape.
No mercy,
No hope,
It's called the future,
And in the future
I will look down upon thee
And I will decide
Whether you are an agent of darkness,
Or are you just mere kindling for my fires?
The power of darkness shall be offered only to a chosen few,
And those that resist the temptations of my Ministry,
Pain becomes synonymous with punishment.
Embrace the Darkness and relish in the earthly delights
That pain has to offer,
Resist,
and there are no limits to the torment you subject yourself to.
Don’t fight it,
It will tear your soul apart.
So let my servants be few and secret.
They shall rule the many and the known,
I am the reaper of men,
The chaser of souls,
The weaver of nightmares;
I am the heart of Darkness. I am now and ever will be
The purity of evil.
The hell you were threatened with as a child
Is no longer an option,
It is a reality,
A living breathing reality,
And you all are right in the middle of it.
Yes, Hell has relocated to Earth.
Now you will know why you are afraid of the dark,
And you will learn why…
Sunday, May 16, 2010
How Low is Low Really? (18SX)
the mass media troubles me here. instead of practising authentic self-censorship like how proper journos are supposed to do, the media go all out. it's like a 4 year old giving you a play by play of how his first dump went.
and that's who im concerned about. the kids.
The Star is pretty much exposed to the general public. (no, contrary to popular belief, they don't ask you for your IC when you try to buy one. and no, there are no underaged kids who try to buy one wearing a fake moustache.) the public can get one anytime, anyplace, anywhere. just like a condom.
what concerns me is a certain politician's on going trial. nope, it's not CBT, it's not bribery, it's not burglary, it's not toilet pee. it's sodomy! it can get pretty messy. and believe me, it has. the 'victim', a certain unknown junkie/hobo/highschool dropout suddenly decided he was tired of walking through main doors and wanted to try the backdoor instead. with the premier's permission, of course.
and the newspapers are having a field day. the articles are priceless. but what im saying is, would you really want your kids exposed to who rinsed his anus when and who didn't take a shit for god knows how long? how about how it happened? who wore a towel and who was told to have a shower to relax or who reported back to work the day after the alleged 'invasion', wearing a happy (read: satisfied) smirk on his mug?
now i don't want to speculate on who's the guilty party here. all i know is that i have a heart for the children for their sake. spare them the agony and awkward questions. i'm not complaining about the sordid details. give me sodomy any day! but no boy scout or girl guide should be exposed to this trash of reporting.
i really would like to know what the reporters say when their kid asks the golden question, "mommy, what is anal?"
and that's who im concerned about. the kids.
The Star is pretty much exposed to the general public. (no, contrary to popular belief, they don't ask you for your IC when you try to buy one. and no, there are no underaged kids who try to buy one wearing a fake moustache.) the public can get one anytime, anyplace, anywhere. just like a condom.
what concerns me is a certain politician's on going trial. nope, it's not CBT, it's not bribery, it's not burglary, it's not toilet pee. it's sodomy! it can get pretty messy. and believe me, it has. the 'victim', a certain unknown junkie/hobo/highschool dropout suddenly decided he was tired of walking through main doors and wanted to try the backdoor instead. with the premier's permission, of course.
and the newspapers are having a field day. the articles are priceless. but what im saying is, would you really want your kids exposed to who rinsed his anus when and who didn't take a shit for god knows how long? how about how it happened? who wore a towel and who was told to have a shower to relax or who reported back to work the day after the alleged 'invasion', wearing a happy (read: satisfied) smirk on his mug?
now i don't want to speculate on who's the guilty party here. all i know is that i have a heart for the children for their sake. spare them the agony and awkward questions. i'm not complaining about the sordid details. give me sodomy any day! but no boy scout or girl guide should be exposed to this trash of reporting.
i really would like to know what the reporters say when their kid asks the golden question, "mommy, what is anal?"
Monday, April 26, 2010
Status Update
It's about time for my annual performance (1st Quarter.)
Below are the achievements and accomplishments I have made for the first quarter of 2010.
They are as follows:
Thank you.
Below are the achievements and accomplishments I have made for the first quarter of 2010.
They are as follows:
Thank you.
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