Racelessness.

as of late, the subdued existentialism i've been going through has led me to many derived ideas and suggestions for the benefit of humankind. one of these erratic ideas is the concept of 'racelessness'.

the notion of 'racelessness' is simple: an anti-label designed to curb society of their one comfort zone of 'fitting in' with society. in short, to be 'raceless' is to be bereft of a brand handed to you at birth and to identify with the rest of the world as co-existors.

since young, i've had a general uneasiness with the idea of identifying myself with culture, race and ethnicity. i grew up watching people place their race and ethnic background as a priority and pride themselves upon it. they would seek others like them in a bid to broaden their social standing. you could see the comfort in their eyes when the other party looked like them, talked like them and thought like them. now i'm not saying all these people are racist. it's human nature after all to seek and perceive similarity in everything around us.

but the idea of priding yourself upon something which was not even yours to choose is logically absurd. in almost all of these race-proud people, the intangible poison of superiority sometimes slips through the cracks and shows these people for what they truly are: race-chauvinists.

that's right. the age old taunt of 'i'm better than you'. a taunt which has divided humanity for centuries. till now, i cannot find an excuse or reason for needing to identify a person by his race. unless of course, you're a Nazi scientist.

to be truly 'raceless', one would have to renounce his cultural identity and fashion himself to a new identity. a person of the human race. let's face it. that's the one race worth being proud of and we should give us all reason to be proud of it. nothing is ever sacred.

the radical notion of safeguarding and protecting one's race and heritage is a mere dream. the world is changing. species, languages, cultures; all lost in time. let it go. ask yourself how many people have been killed in the name of difference alone because if you still think racial identity is worth saving, ask the 6 million Jews in Nazi Germany, ask the many Chinese and Malays who died on the 13th May, ask the Pakistanis and the Indians in the 1940s, ask the Chinese who were massacred by the Japanese, ask the Bosnians in Srebrenica, ask the Indians in South Africa and ask the Palestinians and the Israelis.

to me, labels are the friends of prejudice. and prejudice is the enemy of acceptance. the world, this world should push for a more open and inclusive society, without cultural and ethnic lines, inculcating its people to the bridge of harmony, where no one is left behind due to their creed, colour and culture. 'foreign' should be foreign.

"... I hope someday you'll join us / And the world will be as one." - John Lennon

A Promise

On this hill top
You buried me
As a younger man
You gathered 'round
My empty husk
And spoke of how I was so loved

And as the sun died
You promised that you'd seek me out
Well now the years have weathered you
And soon I'll claim you for my arms again

And if our hearts all disappear
And if our bones, they crumble to the soil
Well all our love will rise again
And we'll float to the sea.

Detachment.

sometimes I find myself wondering why my posts of late betray my emotional fortress that I have worked so painstakingly to build. maybe it's the Universe's way of telling me that emotions can't be contained, that feelings are meant to be spilled to be felt. or maybe I'm just a wuss.

either way, I've been trying to keep my mind on the straight and narrow and im just getting started untangling it. but I find revelation in it's entanglement. you sort of grow as a person when you connect with yourself I think. and that's the most important person. yourself.

when it comes to despair, worry for the future or an impossible love you know you'll never have, the first person you should talk to is yourself. which brings me to my detachment.

detachment can manifest itself in many ways. I find myself looking at the events in my life, current and past, from a distance, a voyeuristic perspective, if you will and I'm surprised to find it actually helps me deal with it better. and it hasn't been easy at all. as none of you know, I'm not your average guy. some will say im a few sandwiches short of a picnic, others may say I'm damaged goods, call me whatever you want really.

I've taken it a step further: detachment from the world. *collective gasp* yes although my future profession would frown on this view, I find that having a detached point of view of the world helps me get through. war, famine, poverty, destruction, prejudice. you can't just stomach all these and not be affected by it. after all, it's our duty as a fellow Earthling to help our fallen right? but detachment saves me from certain depression at the hand that fate has dealt these people. this world. I can work to change the world without becoming too personally involved.

i prefer not to wallow in the misery of life's cruelty. nor do i want to keep dwelling in the past. whatever life hands out, I take it on the chin. there's really no point in looking back. this isn't some Zen theology I'm harping on, merely a human way of coping with the god forsaken obstacles in life and all of its insanity.

Solitude

what to say when all the words have run out?
emotion betrays my stone face
and I find myself drawn ever more to you.
will you judge me if I tell you how I feel?

I know i can't keep this from you
but I promised I would
because you can never know
what secrets lie locked in my mind

what has imploded beneath us?
this chasm of hate, this valley of doubt
in this solitude, I voyage to these places
to affirm my bond to you.

dead is the air without you knowing
around my careless and dancing hair
needlessly forestalling my confession
hoping you hear as I whisper it in my pillow.

The Game of Life.

someone once told me i'm as forward as the rear end of a truck. i still don't know what that means. but allow me to be as simple and direct with this one as possible.

i used to think of life as a mosntrous obstacle. one that needs careful planning, time and money, loads of money to be made the most out of and overcome. then, somewhere along the road, i lost it all. and losing it all made me come to realise that life itself wasn't the obstacle. i was.

put it simply, my friends, life has become a game for me. it's a game we all play. not something you take seriously and try your utmost best to comprehend and try to keep on winning in.

i see life as i see fluid. a brilliant legato, if you will, that you ride on. a journey in which you ever-learn. in this game, there are no winners or losers. only better players. this game teaches you appreciation; for faith, for hope, for people, for love.

but don't base life on the amount of money you make, or the number of cars you have or the number of people you've slept with. it's no competition. out-doing your neighbour (no pun unintended) will not get you anywhere.

i've learnt to take things as they come. i don't need material wealth to keep me happy. just love and peace. the problems in life can do nothing to get me down. just as sure as the tides, solutions readily present themselves to every problem in life. it's all a matter of keeping the faith and finding it.

for me, every day a new chapter. every day an experience. the places i go and the people i've met enrich me constantly. and i'm thankful.

Spirituality or Religion?

im not religious. period. i've lost the plot of religion. my parents telling me to go to church on sundays used to hold little meaning for me. now it holds none. nowadays i say church is a place where people go to compare clothing on sunday. how many of the faithful flock to service just for the sole purpose to pray and seek faith? little if not very few. don't get me wrong. maybe there are a few of you who find solace in the temple of god. but i find it very redundant that we seek comfort in four walls built by man and in views expoused by man. do we really know if this is the 'right' kind of worship? we do not. i speak for christianity because i am qualified to. but it certainly holds weight in the other religions as well. this is not a 'my religion is better than yours' viewpoint. it is simply to highlight how convoluted religion has become.
the bible tells me to condemn people who are different; the non-believers, the adulterers, the homosexuals. but on the other hand, it tells me to love my neighbour as how god has loved me. now truly this is not the message of god. it sounds more like the views of men who wanted the ideal society where these subhumans are purged from society. editing the bible would have a seemingly good effect on future generations who would then shun these people in the name of god. but what are we teaching here? to preach selective hate? that is not what faith, hope and love is about. that is not what god is about.
i am convinced to turn away from organized religion and to focus on spirituality. i do believe in god. i believe there is a higher power and i am destined to live my life according to his ways; to love and care for my fellow man in this lifetime so that i will meet my maker to tell him i have lived my life to the fullest. but i will not follow in the path of self-righteous men who have diluted religion for their own agendas. who have altered the teachings of god for their own personal gain. my god speaks to me and i will listen. i will have my own conversation with Him and let his spirit guide me. but i will not pray to an effigy or an idol, in a place of worship, singing along to delicate tunes and standing, sitting and kneeling every now and then.
let spirituality guide you. the sole belief in god, and not what man says about god.

The Eloquence of Noise

just three frequencies. in triad. set in harmony. you get a chord. the happy, joyous ring of the major. set the middle note back a semi-tone, and you get the haunting, mourning cry of the minor.
yeah, it's these simple things in life that amazes me.
and though i don't know it, it's these simple things that matter the most.
and who would have known that something this simple can convey so much emotion when set in an absolute blend?
a rushing dose of ecstacy to your brain, to your very centre.
you find yourself just closing your eyes to the pain, love, hurt, joy.
the pleasure of pure, unadulterated sound just washing over you.
i don't mean that synthesized, digitized rasping that some choose to name genres after.
but the raw, unedited purr of a violin, or the snap of a guitar string or the voice of a piano.

thank god for music.