Thursday, November 17, 2011

I Do Not Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

- Pablo Neruda

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Sometimes people come into your life and you know
right away that they were meant to be there, to serve
some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help
you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be - a friend, a lover,
a roommate, a neighbour, a professor, or even a
complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them,
you know at that very moment they will affect your
life in some profound way.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness,
and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of
your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they
may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight
flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and
comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the
success and downfalls you experience, help to create
who you are and who you become. Even the bad
experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are
sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, love them back in
whatever way you can, not only because they love you,
but because in a way, they are teaching you to love
and how to open your heart and eyes to newer things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your
heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn
about trust and the importance of being cautious to
whom you open your heart.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know
what tomorrow may have in store.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Life 101

i actually got this one off my old high school teacher who decided to share the lessons he learnt throughout his life with us. after all those years, he's still taking me to school. so without further ado, here it is: a 15 step guide to Life.

1. When you are doing a lousy job and people tell you about it, it’s because they care about you.

2. It’s never a question of whether you can or cannot. It’s only a question of whether you want to or not.

3. You can lose anything in this world but never your Integrity.

4. When you make a mistake, (i) 'fess up to it, (ii) say ‘I am Sorry’, (iii) learn from it.

5. Follow your interests, not your friends.

6. The Meaning of your Life must be more than just dollars and cents.

7. Choose your words carefully. Your words can build someone up or cut someone down.

8. You can achieve anything when you put your heart, mind and soul into it.

9. You find the greatest happiness when you give from your heart.

10. Never assume your family would be around with you forever. Never ever take them for granted.

11. If the only prayer that you say is ‘Thank You’, it’s more than enough.

12. Those who have so little are able to give so much.

13. Live your Dreams. Pursue your Passion. Follow your Heart

14. Live your Best. Leave No Regrets.

15. Love Freely, Unselfishly and Without Discrimination.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


as of late, the subdued existentialism i've been going through has led me to many derived ideas and suggestions for the benefit of humankind. one of these erratic ideas is the concept of 'racelessness'.

the notion of 'racelessness' is simple: an anti-label designed to curb society of their one comfort zone of 'fitting in' with society. in short, to be 'raceless' is to be bereft of a brand handed to you at birth and to identify with the rest of the world as co-existors.

since young, i've had a general uneasiness with the idea of identifying myself with culture, race and ethnicity. i grew up watching people place their race and ethnic background as a priority and pride themselves upon it. they would seek others like them in a bid to broaden their social standing. you could see the comfort in their eyes when the other party looked like them, talked like them and thought like them. now i'm not saying all these people are racist. it's human nature after all to seek and perceive similarity in everything around us.

but the idea of priding yourself upon something which was not even yours to choose is logically absurd. in almost all of these race-proud people, the intangible poison of superiority sometimes slips through the cracks and shows these people for what they truly are: race-chauvinists.

that's right. the age old taunt of 'i'm better than you'. a taunt which has divided humanity for centuries. till now, i cannot find an excuse or reason for needing to identify a person by his race. unless of course, you're a Nazi scientist.

to be truly 'raceless', one would have to renounce his cultural identity and fashion himself to a new identity. a person of the human race. let's face it. that's the one race worth being proud of and we should give us all reason to be proud of it. nothing is ever sacred.

the radical notion of safeguarding and protecting one's race and heritage is a mere dream. the world is changing. species, languages, cultures; all lost in time. let it go. ask yourself how many people have been killed in the name of difference alone because if you still think racial identity is worth saving, ask the 6 million Jews in Nazi Germany, ask the many Chinese and Malays who died on the 13th May, ask the Pakistanis and the Indians in the 1940s, ask the Chinese who were massacred by the Japanese, ask the Bosnians in Srebrenica, ask the Indians in South Africa and ask the Palestinians and the Israelis.

to me, labels are the friends of prejudice. and prejudice is the enemy of acceptance. the world, this world should push for a more open and inclusive society, without cultural and ethnic lines, inculcating its people to the bridge of harmony, where no one is left behind due to their creed, colour and culture. 'foreign' should be foreign.

"... I hope someday you'll join us / And the world will be as one." - John Lennon

Thursday, March 10, 2011

A Promise

On this hill top
You buried me
As a younger man
You gathered 'round
My empty husk
And spoke of how I was so loved

And as the sun died
You promised that you'd seek me out
Well now the years have weathered you
And soon I'll claim you for my arms again

And if our hearts all disappear
And if our bones, they crumble to the soil
Well all our love will rise again
And we'll float to the sea.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


sometimes I find myself wondering why my posts of late betray my emotional fortress that I have worked so painstakingly to build. maybe it's the Universe's way of telling me that emotions can't be contained, that feelings are meant to be spilled to be felt. or maybe I'm just a wuss.

either way, I've been trying to keep my mind on the straight and narrow and im just getting started untangling it. but I find revelation in it's entanglement. you sort of grow as a person when you connect with yourself I think. and that's the most important person. yourself.

when it comes to despair, worry for the future or an impossible love you know you'll never have, the first person you should talk to is yourself. which brings me to my detachment.

detachment can manifest itself in many ways. I find myself looking at the events in my life, current and past, from a distance, a voyeuristic perspective, if you will and I'm surprised to find it actually helps me deal with it better. and it hasn't been easy at all. as none of you know, I'm not your average guy. some will say im a few sandwiches short of a picnic, others may say I'm damaged goods, call me whatever you want really.

I've taken it a step further: detachment from the world. *collective gasp* yes although my future profession would frown on this view, I find that having a detached point of view of the world helps me get through. war, famine, poverty, destruction, prejudice. you can't just stomach all these and not be affected by it. after all, it's our duty as a fellow Earthling to help our fallen right? but detachment saves me from certain depression at the hand that fate has dealt these people. this world. I can work to change the world without becoming too personally involved.

i prefer not to wallow in the misery of life's cruelty. nor do i want to keep dwelling in the past. whatever life hands out, I take it on the chin. there's really no point in looking back. this isn't some Zen theology I'm harping on, merely a human way of coping with the god forsaken obstacles in life and all of its insanity.

Thursday, January 27, 2011


what to say when all the words have run out?
emotion betrays my stone face
and I find myself drawn ever more to you.
will you judge me if I tell you how I feel?

I know i can't keep this from you
but I promised I would
because you can never know
what secrets lie locked in my mind

what has imploded beneath us?
this chasm of hate, this valley of doubt
in this solitude, I voyage to these places
to affirm my bond to you.

dead is the air without you knowing
around my careless and dancing hair
needlessly forestalling my confession
hoping you hear as I whisper it in my pillow.