Goat Milk.

so i've come to realise that my time here is at its twilight. i realise that i have mixed emotions of joy, agony, fear, anxiety, disappointment, satisfaction, whatever. i am sorely going to miss my life as it is. i am painfully going to miss the fun we have had along the way. i want nothing more than to wish all the people who have come into my life the best of luck, hope, peace and love in whatever they do and wherever they go. i know its not the end of the road, but its certainly the end of a beautiful and eventful journey for me.

im only sorry i havent told the people around me how much they mean to me enough and known how much i mean to them in return. yes i have trouble expressing myself at times. but cest la vie. its all about actions and not words that matter. cant tell you that enough. (cant act it out, either.)

then again, if i have ever offended any of you along the way, please accept my heartiest i-dont-give-a-flying-****. im just kidding. im sorry. never meant to offend anyways. i've gotta drop this mr. nice guy persona. i need to be more assertive. accept my apology, damn it! stupid piece of friend, you. ASSERTIVE!! ROAR!

i love goats.

okthxbai.

Introducing...The Jostler!

COMMISSIONER GORDON: who is this guy?

BATMAN: he creeps up on you when you sleep.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: that's it?

BATMAN: he places his hands in your pants.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: that's quite freaky.

BATMAN: then he jostles you. not just once, but over and over again. until you're so high on the jostling, you can't jostle anymore.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: ....that doesn't make sense.

BATMAN: it doesn't have to. the jostler never makes sense. he only jostles until you think it makes sense but it actually doesn't.

COMMISSIONER GORDON: .....

BATMAN: that's not the only thing. he jostles you till you can't even move. he jostles you quicker than you can even say the word 'jostle'

COMMISSIONER GORDON: so what do they call this guy?

BATMAN: The Jostler!

How to Topple A Government (For Dummies)

welcome to a crash course in toppling a world government in 3 easy steps! no extra costs hidden! what extra cost?! there is no cost! its free! all we ask is a little commitment and dedication. you got those? well how bloody excellent. i like to call this the 3P plan. its really an idiot-proof layout which any dummy can follow. let's explore this fascinating concept, shall we?

(i) THE PEOPLE: in any world body or organisation, the single first and foremost entity you should get on your side are the people. if you no got support from the people, then forget about toppling anything.

(ii) THE POLICE: the second important thing you should understand that any authoritarian government only operates through its police force. where else would they get the strength from? you start by obliterating the police force and kicking out its head. once the police are crippled, you should have no difficulty in reaching the executive body unobstructed.

(iii) THE PARLIAMENT: the last piece-de-resistance is marching into parliament with part (i) and without the interference of part (ii). this is the most simplest step of all: just march into parliament and convince the ruling government to GTFO. sounds pretty naive but there you have it.

alternatively, you always convince the people that their leader is involved in some scandal (sexual, preferably). wink wink. that should get the people on your side. then its all downhill from there.

Christian the Lion

i have to admit i misted up when i was watching this. rawr.

Lost In KL.

LDP.NPE.KESAS.PETALINGJAYA.BANGSAR.BATUTIGA.KLSENTRAL.PETALINGSTREET.DUKE.E20.E32.E22.WANGSAMAJU.BRICKFIELDS.POLICESTOP.PASSPORT.JJ.BLEHBLEHBLEH.PLAZATOLL.SHAHALAM.KLCC.JALANHSLEE.PUDURAYA.ROUNDABOUT.FALLSONME.HARMONIZING.SPEEDING.SINGAPOREANDRIVING.CUTTINGACROSSPEOPLE.OVERTAKING.NOSIGNAL.RASUAH.3OCLOCK.5OCLOCK.STUPIDIPOD.FORGOTBAG.REVERSEDOWNROAD.FEDERALHIGHWAY.SUBANGJAYA.USJ.HEIGHTS.KLANG.CHERAS.JALANIMBI.MANUCHELSEA. OFFSIDEGOAL.JOHNTERRY.DROGBAHAVINGBABY.

ah KL. how i love you.

Blowing Up Parliament.

Remember, remember the days in November,
The shipments, crossfire, red dot,
I don't see a season without Avinash's reason,
Why all our meetings, he forgot.

WTFH.

An 11-year-old girl became one of the world's youngest mothers - and went into labour on the way to her wedding.
Kordeza Zhelyazkova, from Sliven in Bulgaria, was still wearing her wedding dress and tiara as she was rushed to hospital, where she gave birth to 5lb 8oz Violeta.
Proudly displaying her baby, she told reporters: 'I'm not going to play with toys any more - I have a new toy now.'

Kordeza - who fell pregnant within two weeks of her 11th birthday - spent the night in hospital with Violeta and then headed back to church for her wedding with 19-year-old Jeliazko Dimitrov.
Kordeza told the News of the World: 'It feels strange to be a mum and have a baby.
'I used to play with my toys but now she is my new toy.
'She is so beautiful, I love her. Violeta is the child and I must grow up. I am not going back to school - I am a mother now.'
The couple met when Jeliazko rescued Kordeza from bullies in the playground.
However he now faces six years in jail for having sex with a minor, telling the paper his fears when he found out Kordeza was pregnant.
He said: 'I was really scared.
'We didn't plan to have sex or a baby although I fell in love with Kordeza the moment I saw her.
He added: 'I was walking past the school when I saw some boys mocking her and I told them to leave her alone.
'Then she arranged to meet me and asked me out on our first date. I thought she was 15. She didn't tell me she was 11.'

....

ah Bulgaria. land of the children with children's children. im not surprised really. this has been, what, the third time a (consenting) minor gets pregnant and delivers a child. something up with bulgarian men. im reminded of Borat when he said he bought his wife at 12 and left her 3 years later when her 'voice become deep and grow many hairs on chest...' maybe that's why they start young.

im sorry, but a mother at 11 is something i can't wrap my mind around. i have cousins who are 12 and act like kids for godsakes! what next? a grandmom at 22? and great grandmom at 33? then get married and do it all over again? whats the rush? where's the fire? keep your bulgarian bulges in your pants and wait, oh i dont know, till she's out of primary school!

but knowing me, ever the eternal conspiracy theorist, believe that there is this elaborate plan across the world to see which country can officially produce the world's youngest mother. no, no, listen. think about it. can you picture some concerned old mother in Azerbaijan right now going "damn you bulgarians! ayaan! go next door and get pregnant, now! no i don't care if sesame street is on! go!"

or some arkansas hillbilly at the maternity ward, with his wife and new daughter, going, "lord sakes! mo' booty for daddy tonight. yee haw!" then when asked if he was trying to break the record, asks back, "whut record?"

hey if that's the case, then i say..
"3 MORE YEARS!"
whoo!
yes i constantly refer to this mayan calender on my wall.