first off, if you were wondering what the last post was about, it was a lazy Sunday evening and i was bored, okay? sue me. i couldn't move a muscle and i was bored. anyways, now that that's cleared up (or is it?), let me start by saying that i'm being overcome with a sense of dread as of late. it's inexplicable and yet, at times, tangible. maybe it's because i'm just slipping in and out of focus between the things i'm supposed to get done and the things which don't really matter. but it's the kind of dread that gets you down, and gets you to your knees, forcing you to shut off and stop, in other words, quit and abandon the race. it's shrouding me and making me second guess myself in almost everything i do lately. that being said, i know i have to fight my way out this deadlock and find my way out of these crossroads. call me naive or foolish, but i do know the signs of impending struggles and toil and last stands. call it experience. i just hope i still have the determination and grit which i used to. i must admit these two particular qualities have quite eluded me since i started this adventure 2 months ago. it's funny how things seemed so perfect and carefree just then. now i just feel the warning signs from the impending chaos from my life about to be turned on its head.
have i depressed you enough already till this point? call me if you need a shoulder to cry on. i just may need yours too.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Fodja hiyermankintof.
hejer! uland moka tooi peen to lakamakasakala niewsielof. fe rosta mudsafir to neek kila dess ka mon shuii bepolinskilafadafadoo. =D hut bannyoit, sekil messterabut hutt topkilish ubangii saytee swatferenger shat. meen bossi defretutui YONINILA! haha! ;) burresester, tutthu feer feer vitt la wasqualee vinshasta cutralonic restersa. LOL. jumpi wumpi girerla sointe deallwallla goomiwamba, tehlijah wamba. :S sirrelexy! Zooprooyella hevenshistofferson inni latkitsa wert?? jookoolo ma fitrestuilakana, simmoloni goosh troosh moosh holifollidolli. hahaha! dembelinni druisutix mellakalani yusturu morgennstraight. loksamikcchelle n kissingerestry. hoity woity kahn mrestry kuiver saz naif saz dert. =0. parew woytl marx se sist ontro compostilala. ministro sinfrestra guud towalla heimmstraflargistic. poot? FIKKEN GOO! hahahaha. joday, si bumster ja feelan woozygarester. haha. sins ja zoon!! jye pye! :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Insomnia and Me.
so it's been 2 months since i haven't blogged. the laziness calls. that being said, i was sorta busy these past couple months. work, work and more work. the title says it all. these deadlines and due dates have been taking a toll on my body clock. i'm drinking tea and warm milk right now but to no avail. hey mr. sandman! you've forgotten me, you idiot! give me a freaking dream already!
it is quite strange, (and that's quite common in my world.) but i seem to enjoy staying up, not being to sleep. the darkness and the quieting silence is enough to calm my nerves. i like dark. it's so peaceful. it's good for some quiet reflection and meditation, but my short attention span does not allow that unfortunately. hey did you hear that new song by Radiohead? (see what i mean?)
but seriously, it's a pretty weird feeling you get when your body's tired as hell but your mind's racing like a bullet. it's getting quite annoying to fall asleep these days, when you're slowly drifting off to sleep, and everything's getting ready to shut off, and you're about to fall into the most serene of sleeps, then suddenly, you think of school or how football with the mates was fun or how the world should stop hating each other and start loving and caring more often. then you sit up and start wandering about the house because your mind is telling you you're not done for the day. next thing you know, you're asleep on the couch 5 hours later with the TV blaring. oh and you wake up with a splitting headache and a bad back from sleeping on the couch the whole night. another night of beauty sleep just gone with useless thoughts. sigh.
there you have it folks. the next time you lay in your bed, enjoying endless nights of beautiful dreams and divine snooze-fests, think of poor old me, awake and cranky and cursing your perfectly synchronised body clock. i'm just kidding. see you when i have a less whiny article to write. pleasant dreamzzzzz to all of you!
it is quite strange, (and that's quite common in my world.) but i seem to enjoy staying up, not being to sleep. the darkness and the quieting silence is enough to calm my nerves. i like dark. it's so peaceful. it's good for some quiet reflection and meditation, but my short attention span does not allow that unfortunately. hey did you hear that new song by Radiohead? (see what i mean?)
but seriously, it's a pretty weird feeling you get when your body's tired as hell but your mind's racing like a bullet. it's getting quite annoying to fall asleep these days, when you're slowly drifting off to sleep, and everything's getting ready to shut off, and you're about to fall into the most serene of sleeps, then suddenly, you think of school or how football with the mates was fun or how the world should stop hating each other and start loving and caring more often. then you sit up and start wandering about the house because your mind is telling you you're not done for the day. next thing you know, you're asleep on the couch 5 hours later with the TV blaring. oh and you wake up with a splitting headache and a bad back from sleeping on the couch the whole night. another night of beauty sleep just gone with useless thoughts. sigh.
there you have it folks. the next time you lay in your bed, enjoying endless nights of beautiful dreams and divine snooze-fests, think of poor old me, awake and cranky and cursing your perfectly synchronised body clock. i'm just kidding. see you when i have a less whiny article to write. pleasant dreamzzzzz to all of you!
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